May, Can, Do

As I go and do in my newly adopted One Plus mode, I find it easy to strike up conversations with strangers. Most center around the exhibit or other cultural opportunities around town. Sometimes, the tone deepens.

Recently, I began a chat with the woman sitting on the opposite end of the bench. We exchanged pleasantries, and soon she was sharing why she had not been to that venue for a long time. Seems she had been shut up in her home for various reasons. I let her talk, in tune with her need to chronicle the many health and house issues that were demanding her time, to the point of affecting her mental outlook. She didn’t whine or cry or even complain. She just needed someone to listen.

At a pause, I told her I have learned that things do get better.

Later, I thought about why I chose the word do, knowing nothing about her situation or the possibility of improvement. They do get better. Not they may get better, or they can get better.

My word choice was based on personal experience of living through various disappointments, challenges and seasons of discomfort or despair. Things do get better. Things may change. You may have to adjust to a new reality, but they do get better.

Would it have been more honest for me to say, things may get better? I hear defeatism in that. There’s a chance, but probably not. Maybe so often means no but I don’t want to be rude and come right out and say it.

Things can get better is slightly more optimistic. It is the difference between maybe one day we will land on the moon and we can land on the moon by the end of the decade, as JKF challenged in 1962 when he said “We choose to go to the moon.” We might, we can, we did.

Things do get better.

If you have lived up to this point with no moment of doubt or worry or even fear, you are not living. Doubt points us to a better way of living. Worry shows we care not only for ourselves but for others and our world. Fear is necessary for survival, as long as we are not giving in to fear-based hotpoints blasted across the cyber-verse by social media, one-sided news sources and powers that currently be. Watch out for words that are meant to sway your opinion by making you scared, prejudiced or unnecessarily worried about what might happen. Might equals may equals probably not.

Wherever you find yourself today on the spectrum of doom>gloom>rosy>sunny, consider how your attitude chooses your words. Life leads us across that spectrum in both directions, sunny>rosy>gloom>doom. Our attitude changes with our words as well as the other way around.

Watch the words you utter. Consider what it means to say I may. I might, but probably not. I can suggests a self-belief and budding confidence even if you are faking it. Best is I do. Now. Right now. I do it.

Pay attention to the words you use to encourage others. They carry weight, more than you know. On Monday, we’ll explore more in my Wordpress post here.